© 2005-2010 Julien Gregg
All Rights Reserved
His heart beat faster than ever, and his palms were sweaty. His eyes were closed, and his arms were around Brian as his mind finally registered what was happening. Brian was kissing him! He'd hoped and prayed that Brian wouldn't hate him when he learned that he was gay, but this was more than Skyler could have ever hoped for. Brian's arms were around him, and the kiss just went on and on. When he felt Brian's tongue graze his bottom lip, shockwaves rippled through him. When he parted his lips to give Brian access the feeling of their tongues touching nearly sent Skyler over the edge. He moaned into the kiss and scooted closer to Brian.
"I have been wanting to do that since your birthday," said Brian when he broke their kiss.
Skyler couldn't do anything more than stare into his blue eyes for a second. The smile on his face looked rapturous, and the delight that shined in his eyes made Skyler want to cry. He couldn't believe he'd kissed him, but he wanted to kiss him again. His heart was racing, and he couldn't think of the right words to say to him. He wanted to tell him how he'd tried so hard to keep from saying or doing anything that would freak Brian out, but he could barely form rational thoughts. He could still feel Brian's lips on his own, and he never wanted that feeling to end.
"I'm sorry," said Brian after Skyler had been silent for a full three minutes. "I just thought . . ."
Skyler cut him off with another kiss. This one was just as tender as the kiss that Brian had instigated, and Skyler thought he felt Brian shiver as his arms went around him again. He couldn't believe this was happening, but he thanked his lucky stars that he had Brian Littrell in his arms. He didn't know what else he wanted to do with him, but at that moment he could have kissed him forever.
"I guess I thought right," chuckled Brian with a look of pure elation on his face when Skyler broke the kiss.
"You have no idea how long I've been trying to keep from just telling you how much I wanted to kiss you," said Skyler, finally recovering some intellect. "It was so hard to talk to you on the telephone sometimes. Seeing you today I thought I would just blurt out that I was gay and that I wanted you."
"Just hearing you say that you want me makes me the happiest man in the world, Sky," said Brian, smiling. "I've wanted you since the first time I ever saw you. I've driven the rest of the guys nuts for months."
"So they all know about you?" asked Skyler.
"Of course," replied Brian. "It isn't as if we can keep many secrets from each other. It wasn't so bad though. Howie came out to us before I said anything, and AJ came out right after I did."
"Three of you?" laughed Skyler.
"Four," replied Brian, smiling again. "Nick just told us before we came home."
"So that makes Kevin the only heterosexual in the group?" asked Skyler.
"Yeah Kev's straight," he chuckled. "Nick and Howie are gay, and AJ and I are bisexual."
"I won't even pretend to understand bisexuality," said Skyler. "I've been having enough trouble figuring out homosexuality."
"So you're exclusively gay?" asked Brian.
"Yeah," said Skyler. "Girls just make me nervous."
"Does it bother you that I like girls too?" asked Brian.
Skyler thought about it for a few seconds, and then he said, "Not yet."
"I'm completely faithful, Sky," Brian said quickly. "If you'll have me, I'll do my very best to make you the happiest man on Earth."
"You've got me, Brian," replied Skyler without hesitation. "I have to tell you though, this is my first relationship with anyone. I've never done more than what we've already done."
"We don't have to do anything, Sky," said Brian. "Just knowing that you want to is enough for me right now."
"I didn't say I didn't want to do anything with you," chuckled Skyler, blushing. "I was just letting you know that I don't have any experience."
"Well that's all right, Sky," said Brian, leaning forward and kissing Skyler's neck as he embraced him. "We'll go slow."
Skyler moaned as Brian left trails of kisses from one ear to the other, stopping to kiss his lips and chin along the way. Brian's hand slipped up Skyler's shirt, and his fingertips grazed his nipple. Skyler moaned again. He shivered from the contact, and he couldn't believe it felt so good. Brian continued to stimulate Skyler's nipple as he kissed him again, and Skyler rode the wave of pleasure that coursed through his body. He slipped his own hand up Brian's shirt to mimic what was being done to him and heard Brian moan as his own fingers touched Brian's nipple.
"We'd better take this upstairs before someone comes home," said Brian, breaking their kiss and pulling Skyler off of the couch with him.
He led Skyler through the living room, back through the hall and up the stairs silently. Skyler's mind was full of thoughts, but he couldn't focus on any one of them completely. The only thing that he knew for sure was that he was with Brian, and it wasn't a dream. He couldn't believe that any of this was happening, but he wasn't going to do a thing to stop it. He wore a smile on his face as he followed Brian up the stairs and to a door at the end of the upstairs hall. Oh yes, he thought, this is exactly where I want to be and what I want.
The bedroom was large with white walls and a bare hardwood floor. The bed was large and covered with a soft blue comforter. Brian turned on a lamp, and then he turned back to Skyler, smiling slightly. He reached out and began to unbutton Skyler's jeans as he looked into his eyes. Skyler leaned forward and kissed Brian, wrapping his arms around him until Brian pulled back to slide his jeans over his hips, kissing his way down from Skyler's neck to his navel on top of his shirt. Skyler lifted each foot to allow Brian to remove his jeans, and then he was standing in front of Brian in just his shirt, boxers and socks.
Brian slowly lifted Skyler's shirt, kissing his torso as he slowly revealed more an more. Skyler shivered from the sensation of Brian's lips on his skin. Pulling Skyler's shirt over his head and trapping his arms above him, Brian kissed him on the lips, teasing him with his tongue. Skyler tried to move his arms to get them around Brian, but they were still stuck in his shirt. The kiss ended in giggles, as Skyler struggled to get his arms out of the shirt.
He wasted no time after his arms were free. He stepped forward and began to unbutton Brian's jeans, and he slid them over Brian's hips as he looked him in the eye all the way to the floor. As Brian lifted one foot at a time, Skyler removed his jeans and socks at the same time. He kissed Brian's legs as he slowly stood back up, stopping before he got to Brian's boxers. He tried to imitate what Brian had done with his shirt, but Brian took it off before Skyler could get to it. They laughed at each other over that for a second, and then Brian grabbed him and fell back onto the bed with Skyler on top of him.
They kissed each other while Brian's hands roamed over Skyler's back to the boxer covered globes of his ass. He kneaded and squeezed as he kissed Skyler, and Skyler impulsively drove his hips forward, grinding his crotch against Brian's, making them both moan against each other's mouths. Skyler broke the kiss to move on to Brian's neck, kissing and licking his way from one side, under his chin to the other. That was when he found Brian's weakness.
He nibbled and licked at Brian's ear, and Brian's body stiffened before he wrapped his arms tightly around him with a shiver. Skyler kissed his lips and then went to the other ear, making Brian writhe underneath him. He spent a little time going back and forth from ear to ear, making Brian crazy. He loved the feeling of him writhing under him, and he was a little nervous about what would come next so he tried to prolong the foreplay for as long as he could.
Brian sensed that Skyler was nervous, but he couldn't take much more abuse to his ears. It was driving him nuts. He turned them over until he was on top of Skyler. He smiled down at him as he ground his crotch against Skyler's. Then he went to work on Skyler's neck and ears. Skyler loved it when he kissed and licked his neck, but he didn't get nearly as much pleasure from his ears being nibbled and licked as Brian had. He shivered as Brian kissed his way down his body, stopping at each nipple to lick and nibble along the way. When Brian started to tug at Skyler's boxers as he kissed and licked his navel, Skyler lifted his hips to allow him to pull his boxers down.
He moaned when he felt Brian's breath on his crotch, and when Brian took him into his mouth Skyler thought he would pass out from the sensation. He'd never felt anything so incredible in his life. Brian swirled his tongue around him as he slowly sank his mouth down over him, and Skyler laid his head back and closed his eyes as the sensations washed over him. He'd had no idea that it would feel that way, and he worried that he wouldn't be able to return the favor with as much pleasure as Brian was giving him. All thoughts left his head as he felt the tingling in his scrotum that told him that his orgasm was coming. He was about to warn Brian when he took his mouth off of him and began to lick the insides of Skyler's thighs and his scrotum.
Brian kissed his way back up to Skyler's mouth, and they wrapped their arms around each other again. Gripping at all of the courage left inside of him Skyler turned until Brian was on the bed beside him. He climbed over him and kissed him again before making his way down Brian's torso, leaving kisses behind. As he kissed and licked at his nipples, Brian bucked his hips and moaned.
Skyler removed Brian's boxers, and stared at his bared crotch for a second. He licked and nipped at him with just his lips, driving Brian crazy. When he finally took him into his mouth, he consciously thought about his teeth. Brian must have liked what he was doing, because he never said anything. He did moan and sigh, and that was all the encouragement that Skyler needed.
Without warning, Brian erupted in Skyler's mouth. Skyler nearly choked when it happened, but he did his best to swallow all of Brian's seed, and Brian jumped and moaned when Skyler licked at him again. He kissed his way back up Brian's torso until they were face to face. He wasn't sure if he should kiss him now or not, but Brian brought his head forward and kissed him, running his tongue over Skyler's and holding him tight.
"That was incredible," breathed Brian when the kiss ended. "Sorry about that though. I didn't have time to warn you."
"It's all right," replied Skyler. "I lived."
Brian ran his hand down Skyler's chest and over his stomach until he grasped him. He pushed, and Skyler rolled off of his side and onto his back. He sighed as Brian went straight to his crotch and took him back into his mouth. Brian sucked and licked at him until Skyler's balls told him that he couldn't take anymore. He started to warn Brian, but at the last minute he chose not to. He decided that turn about was fair play, and his balls released his seed. Brian didn't even choke when it happened. He swallowed and sucked until Skyler was spent.
"You taste amazing," said Brian as he kissed his way back up to Skyler's face.
Skyler didn't shy away from Brian's kisses when he tried to kiss his lips, and the two of them laid there in each other's arms for a while talking quietly and whispering soft compliments to each other. As much as he wanted to stay there with Brian for the rest of the day and spend the night, Skyler knew he had to return to the hotel. The twins wouldn't understand if he wasn't there in the morning, so he made his apologies to Brian and started to get dressed. Brian dressed quickly and kissed him one last time before they left the bedroom.
"Holy shit!" gasped Nick Carter when Skyler and Brian made it down the stairs. He was standing in the doorway with his key still in the door, staring at Skyler with an open mouth.
"Nick," said Brian as they stopped on the final step. "This is Skyler."
"I know who he is," replied Nick, stepping forward and extending his hand. "Hi, Skyler. Nick Carter."
"Nice to meet you," said Skyler awkwardly.
"I have to get Sky back to the hotel, Nick," said Brian when Nick just stood there in front of them.
"Oh," said Nick, finally closing his open mouth and stepping aside to allow them to pass.
Skyler was shocked to see the sun had set when they got outside. He'd been so focused on Brian that he hadn't realized how long he'd been there. He smiled as he thought about how fast the time had seemed to go, and Brian smiled at him as they walked to the car. Skyler's smile slipped when he remembered Nick. He hoped that Nick wouldn't say anything to anyone.
"He was sure surprised to see you," laughed Brian when the two of them were back in his car.
"Not half as surprised as I was to see him," replied Skyler.
"Don't worry," said Brian, taking Skyler's hand. "Nicky won't say anything to anyone that he shouldn't. You can trust him."
"I do," replied Skyler, trying to convince himself. "I was just surprised."
"He'll probably tell Kevin when he comes home, but he won't say anything to anyone outside of the group," said Brian. "Maybe Daren, but that's his boyfriend so he knows how to be quiet."
They talked about how they would get together with Brian on tour and Skyler in New York all the way back to the hotel, and Skyler tried very hard not to even think about Nick Carter telling anyone that he was gay. He really wasn't ready to be out to anyone other than those who already knew, but it looked like Nick along with four other people were about to find out. He had to figure out how to be comfortable with that.
"I'd kiss you, but . . ."
"Yeah," laughed Brian, cutting him off. "Incognito. Just know that I can't wait to spend time with you again, Sky."
"We'll both be in LA tomorrow, Brain," laughed Skyler. "How long will you be there?"
"Four days," he said. "You?"
"I'm staying until the thirtieth," he informed. "I'm going to hang out with my friends from school."
"That sounds good," said Brian. "Hopefully, we'll find time in the four days that I'm in LA to spend more time together."
"Just let me know what your schedule is like when we get there," said Skyler. "I'm only attending the Oscars. Other than that I don't have anything pressing to do there."
"We'll find time," said Brian, smiling. "Have a good night and call me before your flight leaves."
"You have a good night," said Skyler. "I'll call."
He went into the hotel, smiling the entire way. When he reached his floor, Niki was waiting for him in the living room of their suite. She smiled at his smile and cocked her head. He just smiled bigger and brighter. She knew about him, and she knew that he'd been struggling with his feelings for Brian for quite some time. He wanted to tell her all about what had happened, but he couldn't get himself to speak.
"Talk to me damn it," she laughed finally.
"I had a great time," he said, still smiling. "We went to his house after lunch, and things just went great."
"Judging from the smile on your face, I'd say you're leaving a lot out," she said, hitting his knee as he sat down beside her on the couch.
"We're a couple," he beamed.
"Oh my God!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "I'm so happy for you!"
"Thanks," he sighed as they broke their embrace. "Niki, he's amazing."
"You were sure gone long enough," she laughed. "So what does this mean for your plans?"
"My plans aren't changing," he said. "I'll just incorporate Brian into them somehow."
"You're still going to buy an apartment in New York?" she asked. "Won't that be hard with him in Orlando?"
"Have you seen their tour schedule?" laughed Skyler. "They're on the road almost year long all the time. I don't think it will be a problem."
"Well I think you two look great together," she said. "Are you going to tell the twins?"
"They don't even know that I'm gay," he replied, shaking his head.
"Sky, don't kid yourself," she said seriously. "Cassie and Chad are very perceptive, and they know exactly what you feel for Brian Littrell. Chad has even commented on it."
"What did he say?" asked Skyler, trying not to panic.
"He just asked me when they got back to the hotel today and found out that you had left with Brian if you were ever going to tell Brian that you liked him," she replied. "He's completely cool with it, Sky. Cassie told me that she hoped that you and Zack would eventually get together, but she thinks that Brian is cute too."
"But they're both OK with me being gay?" he asked.
"Of course," she said. "You're their hero, Sky. They'll love you no matter what you do."
"I'm no hero," he said, thinking about how he'd left them behind when he went to college.
"Sky, you got them away from your step-father," she said, putting a hand on his knee. "Madonna may have helped, but you are the one who took them to live in New York and showered them with attention and affection. Sky, in their eyes you are the only thing in the world that's really important right now. Chad is so happy that you liked his song. That boy was terrified that you'd tell him he couldn't sing."
"But, Niki, his song was amazing," replied Skyler with wide eyes. "He had to know that."
"Well sure," she said. "I told him it was great, and Madonna told him it was great. Sky, he didn't believe a word of it until you liked the song. He so badly wants to make you proud."
"Oh my God, Niki," he said with tears in his eyes. "I'm so proud of both of them. The fact that they survived in that house without mentally caving makes me so proud of them. Chad's singing blew me away, but I was proud of him before he played for me. I'm proud of him and Cassie for so many reasons."
"You need to tell them that, Sky," she said. "And stop worrying about what they think about you being gay. They love you, Sky, and they want you to be happy."
Skyler thought about that as Niki left him to return to her room. She'd told him the twins were already asleep, and he wished they were awake. He wanted to talk to them both very badly. Niki telling him that they were both fine with his sexuality had shocked him, but it had also made him very happy and eased a fear that they would reject him. He supposed that he'd known they would be all right with his sexuality. After all they'd both loved Zack.
Hearing that Cassie had hoped that he would get together with Zack in a romantic sense made Skyler smile. If she'd hoped for that then she had to be comfortable with his sexuality. Chad asking Niki if Skyler was finally going to tell Brian that he liked him had blown Skyler away. He'd had no idea how perceptive his younger siblings really were. That alone was enough to make him proud of them both. Chad's singing was amazing, and Skyler was so proud of him. Cassie didn't know that he knew about it, but Dale Whittmore had been giving her lessons on the drums while they'd toured through America. He'd secretly listened to her getting better and better
With no one left to talk to Skyler headed for his room. His phone was ringing when he walked in the door, and he was happy to hear Brian's voice when he answered. He was so blown away by the day's events, and having Brian like him as much as he liked him was another reason for Skyler to believe the day had all been a very nice dream that he would wake from at any moment to find that everything was just as it was before they'd come to Orlando.
"I couldn't wait until tomorrow morning," laughed Brian as Skyler sat down at the table in his room.
"I'm glad you didn't," replied Skyler. "I think we have a fan club already."
"What do you mean?" asked Brian with a puzzled voice.
"Cassie and Chad," he said. "I guess my brother and sister are more perceptive than I gave them credit for."
"What makes you say that?" asked Brian.
"Well Niki told me that Chad asked her if I was finally going to tell you that I liked you, and Cassie just said that you're cute and she wants me to be happy," explained Skyler. "I had no idea that they even knew I was gay."
"It sounds like they're OK with it though," said Brian.
"Oh yeah," said Skyler, smiling as he thought about them. "They think I'm their hero."
That thought still made him want to cry. He loved them so much, and he was so happy to have them with him. He still thought that he should have at least tried to get them away from their parents when he'd left for college though. He knew it was a silly thought. There was nothing he could have done at seventeen years old to remove his brother and sister from their home. If he'd tried and been successful they would have ended up becoming part of the system, and Skyler may never have gotten them back if that had happened.
"You are their hero, Sky," said Brian. "What you did for them was remarkable and brave. I can't even imagine what life had to have been like for them. I can't imagine what life was like for you. I thank God every day that my parents were loving and nurturing. Just know that what you did for your brother and sister really does make you a hero, Skyler."
"I never thought about it like that," said Skyler. "I just kept thinking about what it had to be like for them after I left them there to go to college."
"Oh, Sky," Brian said soothingly. "You couldn't have taken them when you went to college. Where would the three of you have lived? Skyler, you got them out of there at just the right time. Everything happens for a reason, and everything that happens has its time to happen. You have to believe that."
"It's just hard for me to think about the day I left Detroit for the first time, Brian," he replied. He knew he would never be able to make anyone understand how he was feeling.
They talked for a while longer, but Skyler was fighting hard not to fall asleep. He finally told Brian that he really needed to go to sleep, and Brian admitted that he was having a similar problem on his end. Skyler went to sleep that night with thoughts of the twins floating through his mind. He had to find a way to show them how proud he was of them. He'd figure it out. He had to. All he had to do was find the words to say to them and the actions to show them. Then they would know he was proud.
The next morning Skyler packed everything in his room. He left the bags in the living room of the suite and sat down with Niki, Kristy and the twins to eat breakfast. Kristy would be flying back to New York as they flew to Los Angeles, and Skyler was going to miss her again. He hugged her as they verbalized similar feelings of missing each other most of the time.
"What time did you finally come back last night, Sky?" asked Cassie, grinning at him from across the table.
"It was late," he replied, trying hard to suppress a grin of his own.
"Did you have fun?" asked Chad, grinning like his sister.
"All right," laughed Skyler. "What are you two imps up to? Is this an inquisition, or are you just trying to find out if I told Brian that I like him?"
"Oh my God," gasped Cassie. "How do you know we were wondering about that?"
She looked from Skyler to Niki and back, and her eyes narrowed. Chad just stared at him with an open mouth. His fork was half way to his mouth, but his arm seemed to be frozen in place as he stared at Skyler. Nikki was doing her best to pretend innocence, and Kristy was watching him like a hawk. She'd also known how he felt about Brian. Skyler was sure that she'd been wondering the same thing for a while.
"I told him," Skyler said. "Brian and I are officially a couple."
"Told you," Chad said to Cassie, putting his fork down.
"I knew it all along," laughed Cassie. "I'm happy for you, Sky."
"Me too," said Chad, grinning at him.
"Thank you both," said Skyler, smiling back at them. "I was really worried about what the two of you would think about all of this, but I was told to stop worrying and just tell you so I guess that's what I'm doing."
"We knew about you liking Brian," said Chad. "You talk about him enough, and you're always so happy to talk to him on the phone. Why did you worry about telling us?"
"Well it isn't every day that you find out that your big brother is gay, Chad," explained Skyler.
"What difference does it make that your gay?" asked Cassie. "You're still Sky."
"Yeah," said Chad, nodding his head.
"Feel better?" asked Niki, smiling at him.
He just smiled at her. He was relieved to say the least. He ate his breakfast as he listened to the twins talk back and forth about Brian. He chuckled when they talked about maybe moving to Orlando, but he didn't have the heart to tell them that he had no plans of moving anywhere. He was still going to purchase an apartment for them in New York, but he didn't think he needed to be spending more money on a house in Orlando.
After a short call to Brian, Skyler and the gang gathered all of their belongings and headed for the airport. Brian wouldn't be leaving until that afternoon, and he had engagements to attend to. Skyler sighed as he sat in his seat on the plane. It would have been nice to see him one more time before he left, but it wasn't as if he wouldn't see him again for months. Brian and the rest of Backstreet were heading to LA too.
The next chapter will be posted soon.